I love my partner. I really do. He's one of the kind. A very special person. A partner who is very understanding and loving. I don't think anyone else would love me the way he does to me. In our relationship, we never argue and never disrespect each other. Whenever we have issues, we address it to each other and solve it. The only thing that is standing in our way, is my parents.
My parents are overly protective and strict. They dislike my boyfriend and my mum have always been standing in our way. She always tell me to come home early, come home early. When I graduated high school, I could come home late whenever I wanted to. Even throughout uni, I could come home late from my outings with friends/uni friends. But ever since I dated with my partner, they gave me curfew. Why did they suddenly restricted my freedom?
Even more so, when they told me I can't sleep over at my friend's place. I have been sleeping over at my best friend's place for every year in high school, and they wouldn't let me in my first year of uni because at that time, I was dating with my partner. I was SOOO upset. I couldn't believe it. They told me I couldn't sleep over because I was dating with my partner. I WAS GOING TO SLEEPOVER AT MY FRIEND'S PLACE! HE'S NOT GONNA COME OVER AND I'M NOT SLEEPING AT HIS PLACE. They restrict my freedom even more.
Ever since I dated with my partner, I have been having endless amounts of fights with my parents. It's ridiculously unbelievable. This one time when I messaged my mum that I was gonna go out to meet up with my friend (who I haven't met with in 6 months), she replied back to me saying, 'Why don't you tell me that you're going to meet with your boyfriend?' I FRICKIN GOT PISSED AND MAD AT HER. I MESSAGED HER BACK OF COURSE. FRICKING TELLING HER THAT I WAS GONNA MEET UP WITH A LONG TIME FRIEND WHO I HAVEN'T MET IN AGES.
It's frickin unbelievable. I've been always having fights with my stupid, hypocritical mother about my partner all the time. It drives me mad.
In the beginning of this year 2017, she fought with me. About my partner again. A NEW YEAR, A NEW MONTH. AND SHE STARTED ANOTHER FIGHT. She never gives up does she?! With all our fights, I cry! I CRY ALL THE TIME!! I NEVER STOP CRYING WHENEVER I FIGHT WITH MY MUM. I HONESTLY HATE FIGHTING WITH MY MUM. I HATE IT SO MUCH. SHE'S THE ONE THAT STARTS WITH THESE STUPID, ENDLESS FIGHTS. She is always emotionally unstable and irrational. She tells me to do whatever I want and tells me to move out and just live with my boyfriend. She told me to call my boyfriend right now and I grew sick and tired of her nonsense. So I went along saying, "Ok, I'll call him right now". She answers back, "What? I can't believe you're really gonna call him." YOU TOLD ME TO GET OUT OF THE HOUSE WHILE YOU WERE OPENING MY WARDROBE. YOU TOLD ME TO DO THIS AND I'M TRYING TO DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO AND NOW YOU'RE UPSET WHEN I'M LISTENING TO YOUR BULLSHITS.
Our conflicts has been going on for a long time, and it has gotten to the point where she demanded me to break up with my boyfriend. Long story short, I wanted to die and kill myself. I have not told this to anyone except my partner and my best friend. But ever since in high school, I deal with my depression by cutting myself. Yes, I cut myself with a knife. I'VE BEEN HAVING CONSTANT FIGHTS WITH MY STUPID DAMN MOTHER AS YOUNG AS I CAN REMEMBER. It went worse in high school during my secondary years. She had been putting lots of stress, burden, and high expectations of me because of my dependent, failure brother. She would just fight with me because of stupid little things. When I try to spend mother-daughter time with her outside, I just can't. You know why? WE WOULD JUST FIGHT WHILE SHE'S DRIVING!!! ABOUT STUPID SHITS.
But it has gotten WAY WORSE ever since I dated my partner. I thought instead of keeping my relationship with my boyfriend a secret, I would tell her because in that way, she would trust me. I know many people that keeps their relationship hidden from their parents. I didn't want to do that because if I hide anything from my mother, she would GO BALLISTIC if she finds out. Now that I think about it, it wouldn't have made it a difference. She knows that I'm dating a guy and she's going CRAZILY INSANE.
I am so tired of this bullshit fights that I couldn't control myself anymore. I wanted to die, die and die. I hurt myself. I wanted to escape life, wanted to escape reality. I wanted to die. My love told me not to do this to myself. He said he would be very sad if I was gone. He told me to stop doing these stupid stuff. But I just can't deal with this anymore. I can't live with my family anymore. I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it.
In the end, I told my mother that I won't break up with my partner and she questioned me, "So you're choosing your own boyfriend over your family?" Well what family do I have? Why are you trying to stop my happiness. You think by breaking up with my boyfriend is what best for me? HELL NO I DON'T THINK SO. IF ANYTHING IS A PROBLEM, IT'S MY PARENTS! My mother and I argued and argued. In the end, she told me to do 'whatever I want blah blah blah shit', and she said that she finally gave up on me and my boyfriend. And that she just lost one daughter.
Jesus, what problems does she have with my boyfriend? Just because he's not Korean, he's older than me by 7 years (My parents are 11 years apart), because he's not good-looking in their eyes? WHY DOES NATIONALITY, AGE, APPEARANCE MATTER?!!! IT'S THEIR PERSONALITY AND THEIR HEART!
I told her that I love my boyfriend but I'm not thinking of marrying him anytime soon. I only want to marry someone once I have a financially stable full-time job. That would be at least when I'm 25 years old. I told my parents that I want to travel with my boyfriend to Japan. They wouldn't let me because they can't let a guy sleep under the same roof as me unless they're my husband. =____= They told me I can travel with him once I'm 25 years old. BULLSHIT HELL NO. I will have a full-time job by then and I wouldn't have any time to travel. I can only travel only during my annual leave. They don't understand the system. They said 'I'M ONLY 21 (turning 21 this year) AND THAT I'M STILL A STUDENT. AND THAT I NEED TO FOCUS ON STUDYING...' Bullshit. BULLSHIT!!!
IT'S BECAUSE I'M STILL A STUDENT THAT I HAVE ALL THESE TIME TO TRAVEL BEFORE I GET A REAL FULL TIME JOB. They said I can travel by myself/friends/family but not with my boyfriend. AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.
Sigh....
I fought a lot with my parents. My mother especially. She punched me, hit me, slapped my body, spat at me, restricting my freedom. I'M AN RESPONSIBLE ADULT! STOP RESTRICTING MY FREEDOM AND HAPPINESS! Won't let me travel overseas with my partner, won't let a road trip with my partner, won't let me sleep over at my partner's house... won't let me come home late when I'm with my boyfriend....
I hate my parents. I am not going to break up with my partner. That is utterly stupid.
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