1. Long time no see

Hi everyone. It's been a while. Well more like 2 years. Haha... I know right? Why haven't I updated any post for the past 2 years? Well... Since early 2017, I honestly didn't want to publish any posts on this blog anymore. I truly wanted to give up on this blog. I doubt anyone was reading this blog from the beginning except my friend, Adorable. Who was I catering this blog to anyways? Besides, I kept this blog a secret from my boyfriend because this blog is way too honest, dark and depressing for him to read. He would be absolutely crushed if he read about my past quarrels with my family.

What was this blog for? Who was I writing it for?

I started this blog in late 2014 after I finished HSC. This blog was to document anything memorable that has happened to me. I wanted my friends to update on my life after high school since I was the only person in my friends' group to go to Western Sydney University. But I think only Adorable knows about this blog. I'm sure I gave the link of this blog to others, but I don't think they cared enough to read it.

So in the end, I was writing this blog for myself? ... I don't know... This blog mostly consists of my dispute with my mum for the past years. Was I writing this blog to release my overemotional, heated opinions? To relieve myself by recording all my arguments down? Or was I waiting for someone to acknowledge my pain and suffering and would someday help me by reading this blog?

I stopped this blog because I soon realised that I actually hated this blog. This once positive blog just turned into a self-loathing, upsetting blog. This blog will forever always remind me of my darkest and weakest moments (which I am not proud of). It's so easy to write moments that has ruined your life, instead of writing moments that have made you so ecstatic.

I discontinued this blog for so long because I guessed whoever was reading this blog shouldn't read my darkest, vulnerable moments that is extremely personal to me. I didn't want my friend Adorable to worry about me. I wanted to move on and stop hating myself and hating this blog. So I ignored this blog and focused on my life, my priorities and my self. I don't think I will gain anything by continuing this blog anyways.

Then why did I have a sudden urge to write again?
Well... That's for another post.