Recently I have been sad. Sad because we haven't been contacting each other... And every time I try to contact him... He's busy... I've been missing him a lot. And there's nothing I can do about it. I just have to be patient and wait to see him on saturday. Then I have to wait another week to see him on saturday. Then wait again, wait for another week, meet up with each other for a day, then wait another week to see him... It's hard. I've been trying my best to distract myself but I am just madly in love with him. I wish I could see him everyday, spend time with him...
But then that makes me very selfish, and very clingy. And I hate that about myself. Which is why I tried to control myself by being paitent, and getting myself distracted, by being busy. But there was this point where I was busy for 1week and three days, and we both deeply missed each other. He missed me a lot and I missed him too. I didn't want to be busy anymore because I want to see him as asap. And he wouldn't want me to work too long because he wants to see me too.
But recently... we haven't been contacting each other that much... and and... I miss him.. a lot. Especially today. Because today is our 6months anniversary. But to be honest, I don't think he cares and I don't think he remembers. I wanted to see him today but he must be tired from work. I care for his well being first. Plus, we both have work tomorrow and we shouldn't hang out too late.
Lately, I realised that whenever he says, "I talk to you tonight/later on skype", he never does... But I never mentioned about it because he probably forgot, or he was tired, or he was busy playing games... But he always says that but most of the times, he never does. But I don't think too much about it anymore. Because I got my hopes up when he said that but he didn't. And it just completely makes me depressed because he got me excited and I was waiting for his message or call but he didn't. Now everytime he doesn't, I try not to think too deep about it anymore. It's just me thinking too much. I am overthinking too much about these little things that aren't much of a problem.
It's just that he hasn't been contacting me that much and I am very sad about it. I don't like initiating the conversation... I feel clingy and annoying. And I contact him during bad times, when he's busy... And I feel that I'm putting more effort and, and, and... I don't know anymore. I tried to control myself today. Epsecially today when we dated for exactly 6 months now. But I initiated a convo with him on whatsapp, saying that "I know that you're working right not but I just want to say that I miss you. And don't listen to me". Our conversation was very brief because I told him later he should go back to work. He ended that he'll talk to me later tonight... And I am still waiting for him... for him to talk to me because god... I miss him so much... TT^TT
I don't know what to do with myself. I hate that I am so annoying, clingy, overthinking too much, and, missing him too much. I think there should be a limit where I think of him in a daily basis, and where I miss him. It's too much that I don't think my special someone thinks that much about me...
Here we go again, me overthinking too much... I tried to think positively but really... I am getting myself on my nerves... Sigh... I really need to control myself and be more patient.
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