Today, I was asking my friends to help me edit my short responses and I informed SS that I wanted him to help me edit. He told me how he can look through it but not sure about editing. Then afterwards, he started to become critical and judgemental. He asked me to say few lines from each of the 3 questions. Then I only told him what I wrote for the first sentences each of the 3 questions. He commented how I should say 'this' and talk about 'that'. But I claimed that I already wrote a paragraph for these 3 questions, and that I only said the first sentences for each of these 3 paragraphs. Then he mentions how, "I would talk about these if I were to write it".
As I was continuing editing my work, he asked me to read out each of these short responses and I said no. I didn't want to. He asked me for a reason but I didn't reply. He asked if was too judgemental and critical. I didn't answer. He asked for other reasons but I responded 'no' to each of them. After I competed and finalised my short responses, he wanted me to read them for him. I still resisted and he wanted to know the reasons why. I didn't want him to know that he was being too judgemental and critical. So I didn't say anything. He asked me to give him one proper reason and he would stop asking. But I still stubbornly said no because I didn't want him to know. I mentioned that it's better to not know the hurtful truth. But he responded that he rather know and get hurt, than not knowing and get hurt. But I didn't want him to. I didn't want him to know.
Because last time, he said he would stop being judgemental and critical (about my study) if I practice by using another better method, such as recording my voice when practising for speaking in chinese.
I didn't want him to tell him the reason... so he wouldn't say any of that...
But later he revealed that he's gonna sleep off the pain and gonna hang up the call...... I didn't know what to do. I don't want him to know the truth because I know that I'm gonna hurt both of us, but if I don't tell him he's gonna hang up the call on me...
He eventually did hang up the call on me after we both said goodnight to each other. It's not necessarily called argument or a fight. But this bad tension between. So far this has happened twice and this is our second time. I don't know which one was worse... The first and second times are both bad...... He hanged up on me because he's mad at me..... He's gonna be mad at me, and he's hurt.... He won't sleep peacefully because of me......
I don't know..... what to do anymore.... I didn't want to call him back.... Because I don't think this is wholly my fault. And I don't know how to approach him anymore... He's not happy with me.... Would he still be the same if I initiate to contact him first?.... If I apologise first would he feel better? But I do not want to apologise... Because I don't believe that I am at complete blame.... But if we don't contact each other then we'll drift apart... for a stupid thing that's not serious.... I am sad now... I feel like crying..... I'm sad....
Hmmm to be honest I feel that u should have told him. It is better that he knows than not know. If he doesn't know what is wrong how is he gonna change. I understand how u feel in not wanting to hurt him with the truth but sometimes we have to bare with the hurtful truth cause it cant be helped. I don't know really know how to make things better to be honest. But maybe call him and just try sort things out first. It is better to clearly the air around you than you guys could return back to normal.
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