116. Clingy much?

It only has been a week and a half since I came back from Japan, and I noticed something... that I've become clingy to my special someone. I mean I am clingy in my nature, but I've always tried my best to control it. But when I came back, I've been wanting to see him more, and when I do have the chance, I just want to hold onto him. Just hold his hand, and hug him...

Today after class when I was catching the bus, I realised that I've became more clingy than before because I missed my special someone... And even today, my special someone mentioned it to me without me asking... I mean... I don't know anymore...

This week, I haven't contacted him on Tuesday and Thursday at all because I know that he's tired from work and he should rest up. And I try my best not to have Skype calls with him too often... I've been trying to control it but... it's not enough.

I don't want to be annoying to my special someone. I asked him how often do I annoy him, and he replied from time to time. WHAT?! I didn't realise that I annoy you... I wanted to make you happy and cheer you up because you're always tired from work. I tried not to contact you everyday but still... is it a lot to you?

I didn't know that I would annoy my special someone from time to time... We rarely fight and when we do argue, it's nothing serious. Just something he would tease me about for fun, and I would get grumpy at him (but I'm not mad at him at all, just how he teases me often).

I don't know... I know that not everyone is perfect and not every relationships are perfect but still... I don't want to start something that would lead something bad... I don't want to be the cause... Does that make sense?

Maybe I should reduce my physical and social interaction/affection with him. Limit how much I contact him and stop being too physically clingy.

Maybe I am thinking too much because I always do.

But when I tried to ask my special someone more deeper of this 'clingyness' topic, he said to be myself because he doesn't want me to change. He doesn't want me to change drastically and he likes  the way I am now. But you said that I annoy you from TIME TO TIME! Tell me how I am like this, and I will fix this so that I won't do it again next time. But even he said that he doesn't know...

???

I want to know... how I am annoying... because I don't want to be annoying especially to the people that are dear to me...

I've always try to be careful with the actions that I make with the people around me. Unless I'm weird around people (meaning that I find them comfortable to be with so I can be weird and crazy around them). Unless I act weird and crazy to my special someone, and he finds it annoying... But but but if I'm weird and crazy, it means I'm comfortable around you and I like you...

I'm probably thinking too much...