I thought I could handle it well but... it's getting to me... More works are piling up... I didn't care about HSC and didn't put much effort into it. But with uni... it's different...
Why am I trying so hard? Harder than HSC? Because it's uni... Because I don't wanna fail and repeat any units... Because I'm not confident...
I am not confident with myself. I am not confident. Confidence...
I try to be confident but it's always getting to me. I lose my cool, and get nervous all the time. I always get NERVOUS!!!
Got my results back today, and wasn't happy with it... My god... I'm going back to the old me where I get upset with my marks and omgggg... I hate that feeling..... I hate it now....
I'm sick of it, I'm sick of everything. I'm tired of studying when I don't get good marks. I'm sick of studying, when other people don't have to study and knows everything. It's getting to me where I am starting to stress.......
My teacher talked to me individually today... about my presentation and mark. I also talked to her about dropping this japanese unit because it's getting harder and I don't understand anything anymore. She was shocked, and didn't want me to drop. She said I improved a lot from last semester and I'm gradually getting better. But I told her, it was too hard.... Two people already dropped this unit and my friends are also considering dropping this unit too. I feel that if people are gonna drop, then I'm gonna perform poorly with others.... I talked with sensei a lot.... In the end, I decided not to drop this unit because I have to DO it. I have to complete 80 credit points for my major and this unit is only worth 10 credit points. If I drop this, then it'll be harder next semester If I study Japanese.
Sighhh....... I need to calm down.... and take it easy..... I have to control this.....
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