I surprised him by showing up at his workplace and also bringing lunch to him. I really, really like him and my heart was beating so fast. I couldn't handle the situation and I felt like I wanted to run away in embarrassment. I couldn't talk to him and just gave him the lunch. I left the store but came back in several times. He told me to wait repetitively but I couldn't keep myself still.
After I ran away from him, I ran to my friends. As we were heading out, I did admitted to my friends that I wanted to talk to him. It was funny how my friends Dora and Erica, forced me to go back to him. Haha >< Especially Erica, because I have never seen that side of her. But in the end, I'm glad they made me go back to him, because then, I could properly talk to him while he wasn't busy. Before I left, I gave him several hugs and kisses on his right cheek. ><
I was very happy that I could see him, but more of because that, he was smiling a lot when I came to the store. I saw him smiling, and his short laughs. ^^ Seeing his bright smile makes me happy.
At the end of day, I returned to his workplace but he was busy handling with his customer. He noticed me but I hid away from his sight. >< After I saw the customer leave, I noticed that he was trying to look for me. ^^ I went to his store and he asked me where I have been. I couldn't tell him that I was hiding from him... >< I asked him if he needed help in packing up but he said that it wouldn't take long. As I waited for him to close down the store, I stared at him a lot. He's really.... かっこいい。
We walked to Central station, and I caught the same train as him. But I had to change platforms to go to my suburb. I enjoyed his company. I enjoy spending time with him. I enjoy hearing to his voice. I enjoy his presence. I enjoy talking to him. I enjoy staring at him. Sighhhhh..... I love him too much.......
I had to get off at Sydenham, and he told me that he'll get off the train with me. I told him to stay in the train because he had to go home. He said I went through all the trouble, but I told him, "It's never a trouble", because deep inside, I'm really happy doing these things for him.
If I was in a relationship, I want to show my partner that I love him, and want to cherish him. That's what I'm doing with him. I am more of a 'giving' person than 'receiving' person. If I do give things to a person or to people, I don't expect any rewards. Which is bad, but yet, good I guess.
I wonder, If I do these things for him.... if that makes me selfish?.... or selfless?.....
Sometimes, I worry If I'm annoying, clingy, or selfish, or selfless, or soon.... boring.....
I decided not to overthink, because overthinking does not help anything.
I'm gonna think positive things with him, because he makes me happy.... And I hope I can make him happy too ^^
Anyway, off topic here... He stayed in the train, and the door was still opened. He told me I should go but I told him that I'll wait until the train leaves. I did our secret handshake, and he gave me that 'why' expression. I shrugged my shoulders, saying 'I don't know'.... ^^ I waved him goodbye, and the train departed.
Today, I didn't say 'I like you', because he told me before that I said that a lot... And because I don't want to be annoying to him, I didn't say it... TT^TT But I should know the limit of saying 'I like you' because I do think, sometimes....... that I might love him more than he does with me..... This was one of my thoughts, but again, I ignored it because I do know that he likes me.
Because he kept calling my name several times, despite that it is in his nature, that he generally does not call peoples' names. He accepted me when I thought that 95% chance that he'll reject me. He wanted to kiss me, when I never expected him that he wanted to kiss ME!!! ME!!!!
And most importantly, he never initiated a hug first in his life, because he is not use to it, and is not a 'huggy' person. But he first initiated a hug in his life, and he hugged me..... ME!!!!
He did all these, and I realised how much he likes me too TT^TT Made me so happy and sad at the same time. Sad because I felt I wanted to cry in joy, in the inside. These tears are happy tears, because he accepted me....
I guess I have little confidence in myself too.....
I want to make him happy all the time. I want to show him that I do really, really, really like (or love) him. Just as he said, "Your happiness spreads like a virus to everyone". ^^
I replied, "There's no cure for it". @><@
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