I stopped making new years resolution because I never achieve them and thought what was the point. But I did made few decisions this year. I decided to let things go. Things that are not important to me, or more like, I'm not important to them. But I do hold on and wait for some things, but other things I definitely know they aren't worth waiting for. I hope to whoever reads this don't misunderstand this.
It's just that before in my first year of uni, I was so scared that I'll be alone for the rest of my uni life and that I won't be able to make any friends. But I did. But you know, even though you are close acquainted with them, they're still your uni friends. You guys would only talk about assignments, uni, studies, and if you guys have common interests then you'll talk about that too. But that's just it. They won't be your close friend unless you guys are in the same classes, units, are in the same course and campus. But that's just it.
I remember in my first year of uni, I wanted to be more sociable and talk to new people, and make new friends. But I gave up this year. Because I know that we will just be acquaintance and nothing more. And do you know how awkward it is when you know someone and you see them... Before you guys walk pass by each other, and you think to yourself, "I should greet them otherwise they'll think I'm rude". Then we come up to each other and hug each other, and say "Hey how've you been?" We're just asking out of courtesy not curiosity.
That's why I let things go. Because they are worth doing, just wasting time. This post seems rude of me. But really, they don't care about you too. I decided to quietly progress with my uni life. But if there are people that are interested in becoming your friend then why not? Become friends with them and talk to them. But I just decided to keep and wait for what's important to me. Just keep people that are important to you, and they feel you are important to them. That's what matters. Just let things go if they aren't worth it.
That even includes family members. I've stopped talking to my brother ever since last mid-year. He does not give one damn care about me and doesn't even initiate to have a proper conversation with me. When I came back on a cruise, my mum asked him if he missed me. Before he answered, I said "Of course not, it doesn't make a difference whether I'm here or not." Then my mum asked him if that was true. He gave that look that I was right and my mum was surprised. Of course I knew. I know our relationship. We not close and we just stopped talking to each other. My dad said that we're a family so we should stay close but trust me. I tried with my brother throughout high school. High school was when he became distant with me. I gave up last year. But I tried and tried. But it's futile. So I let it go.
If people don't think I'm important to them, when they are to me... Then I don't need them in my life. Why should I care for them when I tried and tried? Only those who feel that I'm important to me, and they are important to me are worth keeping for a lifetime. This also applies with other people who I tried and tried with but no. They don't give a damn, so I stopped giving a damn. If you think I change, please. I just let you go in my life. Why should I hold onto something that are just making myself feel bad, and look bad? Why should I cling onto something that are just not true? but a fake.
But there are things that are worth waiting for. So I am a very patient person. And I will wait and wait. There things that are worth waiting and keeping for.
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