I'm still stressed and worried. Sighhh......
I don't feel like talking to anyone when I'm at my lows, so I just don't go onto social networks. I know that's selfish of me, but I don't want to affect the people I care about, about my depression or when I'm not feeling the best. I cannot hide my feelings that well. I can't pretend to be happy and force a smile in front of you, and talk casually??? Noooo! When I talk to you, I'm gonna be real. I just don't want people to see my sad, ugly, bad side of me. I don't want them to worry about me.
But if I am sad and do wanna talk to you about it, then I will. But most of the time, I just don't want to affect them with my depression. Because it's nothing to worry about for them......
So since I had headaches for three days and I've been having family-problem-thing with my mum, I've been avoiding my mum, my friends, and my SS.
Being in your room for days, and not going out of that room, and not talking to your family members and anyone else outside through social media is........ also depressing. It makes you think a lot about depressing things which makes you even more depressed. Which is stupid.
When I try to talk to my mum to reconcile, she was still mad. And that made it worse. Seeeee. But when I don't talk to her, we become distant. It's stupid. She needs to get over it.
I haven't been talking a lot to SS this week at all. We only caught up once this week by call. Sighhh...... I miss him.... I really do miss him. When I'm busy with uni, and he's busy with work is..... sad.......... We don't have enough time to spend time together. We only see each other once a week....... So sad..........
We need to use every chances to see each other for now because....... I'll still be going to uni for another 2 more years, and by then he'll have a full time job and will be a lot busier than now........ What if we don't see each other a lot, and grew distant?..... TT^TT
My gawdddd..... Being depressed makes you think a lot of depressing things.......
I hate it...
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